AUDITION MONOLOGUES

Monologues from Into the Breeches!

CELESTE: I? I play a … man? I’ll … I’ll be laughed off the stage … But the challenge of it — ! To temper the femininity that you see before you? Replace it with its opposite? That would be an heroic undertaking. It’s lunacy, is it not, it’s … but if I succeeded? Henry? Prince Henry. The debaucherous pup who grows into glorious manhood. The conqueror of empires. Tempting, sorely tempting. But who would accompany me on this Saint Crispian’s Day? Perhaps I can metamorphosize into a man if challenged, but who else could possibly —?

GRACE: I am new, yes. Moved here when Paul – well, before he was deployed, he wanted me close, so I followed him around the country for about a year, base to base, but when he finally shipped out with the Air Corps, I was left alone in North Dakota with our boy, and the money ran out and I didn’t know what to – I had to move in with … well, Paul’s mother lives on Fed Hill. I haven’t ever acted before but I wanted to, I did, I always wanted to try, but … Paul … I brought it up a few times, but he was never too fond of the idea.

MAGGIE: Thank you, Stuart. And welcome, girls. We gathered here are about to embark on a brave and necessary endeavor. My hope is that this production will honor those abroad and give some comfort to those who remain – that it will bond us all, in some small way, united against a common enemy, in a noble cause. Now, what say we dive right in? On our first break, we’ll talk all about conflicts and luncheons, I promise. Now, for those of you who haven’t been with us before – which is most of you – following my husband’s recipe, we are going to start our rehearsal with table work. Which is, basically, sitting around a table, and, well, working. So, let’s take if from the top.

STUART: You have every right to know, June. I can assure all of you ladies that I tried to enlist on numerous occasions, at various recruitment stations. First, they told me I was too short, so I wore shoes with lifts. Then they told me my eyes were too poor, so I cheated on the exam. Finally, they told me I was a swish, a suspicion which led to an extremely humiliating interrogation I found I did not have the strength to repeat. Believe me, I know where I should be. If we could keep that within these walls, that would be swell. Providence is – it’s a big small town.

IDA: These costumes aren’t from our stock. Made them myself. And they aren’t Elizabethan at all. They’re nowadays dress. Those doublets and hose had to go. Your first-day speech, it got me – it’s not about putting on some old-timey play, it’s about making it immediate, bringing the war home. This’ll make it more like watching a newsreel, but one with sword fights, and, and .. poetry! I’ve been working on them every night after rehearsal. And I’ve got the bloody thumbs to prove it.

ELLSWORTH: Mrs. Dalton, there is talk, I warn you, there is talk on the streets, you are dragging the institution back to the dark ages! The Oberon is not the place for a ‘progressive’ production. There are – there are institutions for men who put on wigs and prance around. And there are institutions for those from the – the other side of the tracks to perform in, as well. Ours is not one of them. Mrs. Dalton, I have bent, I have bent, now you would break me. The audience is all that matters! They do not want to be educated. Your job is to cater to the tastes of our audience, not to broaden them. I shudder to think of how your husband will react when news of your scandalous behavior reaches him on the deck of his destroyer. So? Are we finished?

Monologues from The Patient

Dr. Ginsberg: Mrs. Wingfield has been suffering in the last two months from an illness somewhat mysterious in nature which was puzzling the doctor in attendance on her, Dr. Horsefield. […] She was, however, showing decided signs of improvement and was convalescent, though there was still a nurse in the house. On the day in question, exactly ten days ago, Mrs. Wingfield got up from bed after lunch and was settled by Nurse Bond in an easy chair near the open window, it being a fine, mild afternoon. She had books beside her, and a small radio. After seeing her patient had all she needed, nurse went out for her afternoon walk as usual. What happened during the course of the afternoon is a matter of conjecture. But at half past three a cry was heard. Miss Ross, who was sitting in the room below, saw a falling body cross the window. It was the body of Mrs. Wingfield, who had fallen from the balcony of her room. There was no-one with her at the time when she fell, but there were four people in the house, the four people who are assembled here now.

Brenda: Don’t you see that a temptation it might be to her? She was jealous of me and Bryan—oh, yes, she knew about us—and she was jealous. And when that machine there gave her a chance to get back at us—at me—don’t you see how tempting it was to say “Brenda pushed me…” It could have been like that, it could! […] You don’t know what women are like when they’re jealous. And she’d been cooped up there in her room—thinking—suspecting—wondering if Bryan and I were still carrying on together. It isn’t far-fetched, I tell you. It could easily be true. [to Emmeline] I’ve seen you looking at her often. You were in love with Bryan—he was half engaged to you—and then Jenny came home from abroad and cut you out. Oh, she told me the whole story one day. You’ve never forgiven her. I think you’ve hated her ever since. I think that you came into her room that day, and you saw her leaning over the balcony, and it was too good a chance to be missed—you came up behind her and—pushed her over…